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© 2020 Tania Elfersy from Flower Cap Press. All rights reserved.

  • Tania Elfersy

The question to ask in perimenopause and menopause



When I coach women who’re struggling with perimenopause and menopause symptoms, there’s a question I like to ask:


What does your body want you to know?


The idea that our bodies might want us to know something is a peculiar concept for many.


In the West, it’s common to grow up without any appreciation of the brilliance that’s held in our bodies – a brilliance which far surpasses any intellectual achievement we can attain in this lifetime.


It’s even easy to forget we have a body. That’s ours. To care for.


We can spend years fueling our bodies with junk, flooding it with stress, not offering it time to sleep and repair, keeping it away from the sun, barely moving it or moving it a lot – pushing it to its limits – because there’s an idea that how our bodies look defines us.


And then, when a body starts talking to us through pain/discomfort/ anxiety/insomnia (add your symptom), we often try to ignore it even more because our bodies are interfering in our precious lives, and we’ve got a lot to do.

Surely, we can just turn down the volume.

So maybe we start with something over-the-counter and if that doesn’t work, we’ll seek a doctor or a few doctors (because specialists) and we begin to expand the outsourcing of the care of our bodies.

And we’ll insist on solutions outside of us for what is being created within, because, don’t you know, we have genes and family histories and bodies that, damn them, have stopped working right.

But then suddenly, we’re giving our bodies lots of attention because how can we possibly forget that we have one now? Our bodies keep us up at night and they’re the first thing we’re aware of in the morning, and they are the thing we blame for ruining our lives.

Our bodies that just want us to know something.

And we in our innocence don’t realize that we need to start by listening.


Luckily, we’re going to be pushed to listen at midlife. We’re going to have to become conscious of the wisdom of our bodies if we want to taste our innate well-being again. The innate well-being we’re all born with.


We’re going to have to wake up.


That’s the point of midlife change.


That’s the design of perimenopause and menopause.


Transformation will occur when the symptoms that you’ve been struggling with and wishing away start to feel like an invitation, your invitation, to embrace a new kind of change.


Perhaps you’ll be invited to start walking in the morning; or adding live food to your diet – food that was recently picked from plants and trees, as opposed to food that has been sitting in a supermarket. Maybe you’ll sense an invitation to prioritize sleep at night, over time in front of a screen.


And perhaps you’ll become aware of an invitation to get curious about the illusions that you’ve mistaken for truth, and about where your true self lies.


And if you’re still wondering what your body wants you to know, you’re welcome to be in touch. Together we’ll listen, rediscover your magnificence and tap into where your healing lies. LIKE this post? Feel free to share.

Want to discover a simple and 100% natural way to reach perimenopause and menopause symptom relief? CLICK HERE to check out The Wiser Woman Course.

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